When The Pain Ain't Sweet

We've all heard it, "it hurts so good." We may have actually felt it...that sweet ecstasy of having a lover that makes you squirm, wince and moan with desire from the sweetest nibble to love 'taps' to full device strikes that accentuate sexual desire. 

Since entering the world of erotic writing, (particularly after meeting with BDSM practitioners and other kinksters), one thing is abundantly clear. People need to know the difference between abuse and sexual play. Like any sexual contact, NO ONE should ever touch you, inflict pain or insert anything into your body without your EXPRESS permission and negotiation. EVER!! Testing limits and sexual boundaries are at the heart of sexual discovery and play. However, you should NEVER be forced into any interaction or manipulated to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or feel threatened. 

It seems like such a simple idea-but apparently it's not. With increasing interest in, and lessening taboo nature of sexual play, distressing things are happening. In recent months, I've read news reports about people being harmed or killed due to what is being described as BDSM gone wrong. There is NO SUCH thing! People who don't know what the hell they're doing are putting their partners at risk or displaying truly psychotic behavior. That's what's happening.

Please be safe, sane, consensual and careful out there! 

And remember...

NO MEANS NO-even if it takes the form of a safe word. Honor it, be respectful of it.